food+coffee+books+travel+dogs+music=my life
Racists are a problem
White people are not
Homophobes are a problem
Straight people are not
Transphobes are a problem
Cis people are not
Sexists are a problem
Men are not
And most importantly, hating an innocent person solely because of their race, sexuality, or gender makes you a fucking asshole
(source: http://egalitarianyellowfang.tumblr.com/)
Yep. Can’t agree more.
Ocean. Waves, salty water, sand, surfboards, ocean smells, sunset…I love the ocean. I like lakes, rivers, mountains but I love the ocean. The ocean and I have a very personal relationship. It’s deep. Ocean produce seafood, especially shellfish…my love. There’s only one downside of shellfish. Picture this; you have this gorgeously prepared plate with all types of fish and shellfish. Your favorite is clam and you dive into it. Then, as you’re biting into it, this hard, weird, most unpleasant texture you’ve ever experienced. Sand.
My mom grew up in Shizuoka prefecture which is located about 2-3 hour drive from Tokyo near Mount Fuji and beautiful pacific ocean. My grandma and mom moved to Tokyo 15 years after the World War II ended but they never forg0t how great the seafood was in Shizuoka. They taught me how to gut and filet the fish, how to clean and prepare fish and shellfish. One particular lesson I am so appreciative having been taught is to soak clams in salt water and for (at least) a couple of hours. You make the salt water bath the same concentration as sea water, then soak your clams for couple of hours. Then you will see them become very active and start spitting sands out so you don’t have to take that super annoying first bite of clam sands. Thanks, grandma!
This was nice and easy seafood stew that I made.
Heat cast iron pot, add olive oil and garlic. Brown your fish (I used red bream) with high heat. Lower the heat to medium-low, then add white wine and 1 small can of tomato leave it for a few minutes then add squids and clams. Cook them for another few minutes then add oysters. Don’t overcook oysters, turn off the heat just about when the oysters get plump.
Please go ahead, enjoy the Ocean Stew with sand-less clam
Today’s (or my lifetime) goal is “not to compare myself to others.” Sounds strenuous. I think that is the root of all of my issues and baggage that I carry, which is constantly comparing myself to others and not accepting myself. Other people have better personality, family, more money, popularity, leadership skills, more talented, are kinder, more beautiful, thinner calves, prettier smile, better cook, better dancer…etc. No wonder my life has been so harsh. That is no one’s fault, but mine because I have been letting myself accept that.
This last Saturday, Archie and I wasted almost all Saturday because of lack of self-assurance and affirmation. I was not liking parts of my bodies. I thought too much about it and that drove me to the point where I get upset with someone else. I was angry at myself too much already and I was not sure what to do. My emotion burst out against Archie. We could have spent a lovely Saturday together (it was gorgeous spring weather day!) if I was not that way. Me being bitter affected us so much and we ended up having a long-ass argument that was not necessary.
It is all about my ego that is playing me. I read below a while ago but I can’t recall where but I kept it in my notebook. This is such a nice reminder to take a step forward to accept who I am.
“Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be-the best version of you-on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it”
本日の（というか、きっと人生の）目標は、「人と比べない」。私自身、たくさんの問題を抱えているけど、根源となっているのは、自分はこれでいいんだっていう、そういう思いが欠けているから。自信というより、自己肯定。生まれてきてから、今のいままで、何かが欠けている、自分は人より劣っている、他の人はできるのに、なんで私はできないのか。そんなことばかり思って生きてきたので、今になってその代償を払っている。アーチーに教えてもらうまで、人より劣ってると思うことが普通だったから、ようやく、どうしてこんなに辛かったのか良くわかった。
以下、「私より他人の方が。症候群」の症例。他人の方が、正しい、良い仕事持ってる、友達がたくさんいる、頭が良い、優しい家族がいる、お金持ち、笑顔がきれい、足が細い、料理が上手、怠惰じゃない、ダンスがうまい、収入が多い、性格が良い、みんなに優しくできる、人気がある、リーダーシップがある、才能がある．．．等々。これにプラスして、「自分もそんな風になりたい。を通り越して、他人より秀でたい。症候群」っていうのになりかかっている感じもする。周囲の評判や、他人が自分のことをどう思っているのか、気にしすぎてしまう。もう少し言えば、気に病んでしまう。そうすると、自分にも他人（自分にとってとても大切な人々）にもぎすぎすした態度を取って、優しくできなくなってしまう。魔のパラドックスにどっぷりはまって、抜け出すのに物凄い量の、労力と時間がかかる。先だっての土曜日だってそうだ。自分の体型が気に入らないとか、そんな理由でアーチーに、つっかかったし、それが理由でその日は、ほぼ一日無駄にした。しかも別れる、別れないとかそんなことまで、話す羽目になって。暖かくて、春みたいに良い天気で、もっと楽しい一日が二人で過ごせたはずなのだ。
慎み深さを持ってまた、自己肯定のできる様、ゆっくり、ゆっくり、牛歩にて。
There is something romantic about eating at a diner, especially at the counter. Drinking a very bad cup of coffee in a very thick unmatched ceramic mug. The food is greasy and its portion is gigantic so it’s promising that you’ll get a huge gut-bomb even while you are eating. You can easily find those diners in NYC but there are not many in Seattle. The Dish is one of only a few and very valuable.
Since I moved to Seattle in 2000, I have been coming here. It is a small restaurant. The counter seats 8 people and there are 9 four-top tables. They only open from 8 am to 2 pm, are closed on Mondays and all national holidays. If you arrive there after 10 am, you should be ready for waiting. Outside. Summer in Seattle is gorgeous, so there is no problem waiting outside. But winter? Wet and cold…but the line does not get shorter. Of course, there is bottom-less coffee with unmatched ceramic mugs while waiting. You sometimes have to go to the bathroom twice before you get seated. People in Seattle adore this place despite these inconvenient factors.
The menu is not that original, regular American. Lots of eggs, starch and meat. Not a lot of gluten-free or vegan options but this place attract people. 98% of Seattle population either knows about this place or has been there, I bet you. Nobody will judge you if you dine there alone. It’s actually quite comfortable place to do so. It has lots of sunlight so it’s nice to eat there when the weather is nice. It’s equally good to dine there on rainy Sunday’s as well.
Their food is good, it doesn’t necessarily wow you. But I repeatedly go there because of the charm, consistency, nostalgia, comfort and romance that this place offers. The Dish will remind you of your grandma. It’s like eating your breakfast in her 50’s kitchen with a bunch of other people.
On morning of Chinese New Year, what is the appropriate way to wake yourself up?
Komodo Dragon, of course. Komodo Dragon is one of Starbucks’ core coffees. Rich, deep, dark. Also earthy spicy and kick. It will take you to Southeast Asia somewhere. You will feel like you are wondering around in the forest hearing these exotic birds and animal crying.
This coffee does not have any association to Chinese New Year but it is nice to start the day taking a trip to where you have not been to, by drinking Komodo Dragon. Happy Lunar Nee Year, everyone.
読み終わった。時間とお金が少しもったいなかった気がする。読後感って大事だなあ。再度この作家の書いた本が読みたいって思えるかどうか、がかかってるんだもんなあ。世間評と選考委員評はすごいのだろう。性格に合う合わないがあるように、本と読み手の相性もあると思う。だから、この本は私と合わなかっただけだろう。
さ、これから帰って、Pretty in Pinkでも観て、頭を空っぽにしよう。それで、自分の本棚にある、大好きな本を読んで週末をはじめよう。
Tonight was one those nights that I didn’t want to slice or cut anything. Basically I didn’t want to “cook.” The fact is I am hungry, so I decided to make myself “yakimochi (grilled rice cakes)” Yaki means grilled and mochi means rice cakes, as you might have guessed it.
I used to grill mochi in a small frying pan but since I got this “yakiami” which is a simple yet essential tool made with ceramic and metal. You can grill vegetables, meat, fish, and of course food like mochi over the stove with it. I sometimes grill “onigiri (rice ball)” with this yakiami so I can add more flavor. Adding soy sauce while grilling onigiri makes you salivate quickly.
Anyway, over low-medium heat, you cook both side of mochi until it gets golden brown (I like a little burnt). There are so many ways to eat grilled rice cakes. For example, you can dip them in ponzu sauce, in shredded radish (mizore-oroshi) and soy sauce, sprinkle soy power and sugar, fry them, spread butter over…list goes on. I wanted to just have a simple and easy night so I added mochi in to my pre-made and heated bonito & kelp stock (dashi).
My simple night completed.
疲れた。上巻を読み終わった時に感じたのはそれだけ。どっと疲れた。私が本を読むのは、現実逃避したい時か、仕事とか、友達とか、家族とか、しがらみとか、やらなきゃいけない事とか、責任とか、そういうもの（特に人とかかわる事）から自分を完全に引き離して、頭も体も休息したくて、酸素の足りないフナみたいになってる時だから、こういう本は読みたくなかったなあ。大きな賞で本を読む訳ではないけれど、（その証拠に、小路幸也の本達は大好きだけど、直木賞も芥川賞ももらってない）参考にはするし、評価されるには理由があるのだから、それは読んでみたいと思って当然だとも思う。シアトルの紀伊國屋の本棚に陳列されてたのを見た時には、「これだけの文字が読めるとはなんて幸せな事だろう！」と思って、心躍ったし。
林真理子の評では、スケールが大きいという事なんだけれど、ロケーションがイランだったり、エジプトだったり、大阪だったり、東京だったり、サンフランシスコだったりするから、その描写は確かに面白い。それをスケールの大きさだというのは、賛成できないし、書いてあることのスケールはちっとも大きくない。家族がどう壊れていくかと、主人公がどう自分と落とし前をつけていくかを書いてある本だからなあ。こんな事があって、あんな事があって、こんな風に考えて、こんな結果になったっていうのを、時系列に延々350ページとちょっと。疲れて当然だ。
さて、これから下巻。全部読んでみせますとも！
1. It is a long line to order your food and drink.
2. It takes a long time until your food comes out.
3. Staffs are not so attentive.
If you do not like these facts of restaurants or cafes, you would not like to keep reading this post because this place I write about today does have a long line to order, they take a long time to prepare your food and the staff are not super attentive.
I love Capitol Hill in Seattle. It’s weird and not-so-clean, but it offers a lot of character and feels welcoming for some reason. I came to Seattle for the first time to study English and lived at a dorm at Seattle University. It was located (still is) on 12th and James, and I used to walk to Broadway to check out funky small shops and do some human watching (there were LOTS of “interesting” people back then). Capitol Hill has gone through numerous changes and people say it is not the same Capitol Hill anymore, but this place still attracts me and I notice I feel nostalgia every time I go there.
Arabica Lounge is located at the corner of East Olive Way and Denny. Many of the old buildings (I love old architecture!) still remain around there instead of being replaced by these ugly new apartment (cheap materials and ugly…ugly!) buildings with no character nor the care. This place is located in one of those old buildings with big windows and lots of sunlight. If you are like me, as soon as you enter this café, you feel like you are transported to somewhere in Europe. Maybe like Amsterdam. People working there and people drinking, eating, chatting, reading, laptop-ing, iPhone-ing or just being are all beautiful people. I am not saying they all look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. What I mean is that they have their own style. Some are hip, some are cool, some are groovy, some are rad, some are indie and some are just not. They just look comfortable in their own skin. This space a good level of intimacy but in the meantime you can still be alone with other people there if that makes sense. I feel most comfortable at this kind of places. They offer simple yet delicious food, well prepared drinks (traditional French bowl with Stumptown beans! Oh MY!) and good music. I wish I had a living room like that space.
Arabica lounge is the best place to be yourself and alone with someone. It is a place to connect with people who are exactly like you, who want to be themselves and are comfortable in their own skin without exchange of words. You’ll want to bring 2 or 3 books when you go there. Trust me, you want to easily stay there half a day but please be careful who you go with. Go there by yourself or with someone who is like you. I went there with Archie and this one friend who was sort of cranky that day. While I was enjoying the time waiting for my food, he mentioned how long we had been waiting (it was 64 min actually but it did not feel like that long) and you don’t actually need to know that kind of information at Arabica Lounge. This is where you go without your watch.
Bring no watch. Bring your books, notebook and your favorite pen. 64-minute wait is totally worth of your time.
Ferris Bueller is excellent. Not only is he charming, he is quite insightful.
He said “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” That is something.
It was about 50 degrees and sunny in Seattle yesterday. I was sitting on the bench right next the “black hole sun” (remember the song of Sound Garden?) in Volunteer Park, facing west to the ocean. One guy with guitar and a woman with cello played a series of music, basically they were having a free concert for people sitting in the park. Archie and Ginger, my overweight Chihuahua took a walk somewhere in the park while I sat and wrote. I am sure they enjoyed the moment as much as I enjoyed my alone time.
I think a lot. Sometimes I overthink. Actually all the time. I over-analyze things. It kills me. I think about what’s going on in the world, my parents’ health or worst of all, what other people think about me. I worry so much about it. I compare myself to others A LOT, then I make myself inferior to others. I allow myself to do that. I create thing in my head even though those thoughts are not often true. Lots of assumptions. Not trusting others. Most of all, I am not trusting myself.
I read this one article yesterday morning. It was about human thoughts and was suggesting that you “check-in” when you are creating problems in your own head, being negative or are in a dark place. Meaning, you should ask yourself if you actually have solutions for problems/issues that are percolating in your head. The article assures that you don’t have any resolutions most of the time.
While I was taking a mental break and soaking up the sun, I was thinking, “the article was right. I do not have any solutions for these problems that I am creating.” I was worrying about my work stuff that hadn’t even started yet. I dislike not being prepared, but what I was worrying about is NOT preparing. I was just creating bad scenarios that might not even happen.
What I need to do is be more like Ferris Bueller or my dog. Both Ferris and Ginger know how not to worry about the future you don’t have any control of. They just enjoy theirs “asses off”.
Have you eaten? 