#kutoo Movement: Yumi’s Small Tweet Becomes a Movement to Help Women in Japan

All she said was, “I want to diminish this rule that women have to wear high-heel shoes or pumps at work.  When I was a student, I worked at one hotel for 1 month wearing pumps and it was not sustainable.  Why women have to suffer from foot and legs to be hurt when working while men can wear flat shoes, I wonder?”

Yumi Ishikawa tweeted the above in January in 2019, and her tweet was re-tweeted almost 65,000 times since then.  She started to collect petitions and I heard that 30,000+ were collected.  I assume she didn’t mean to start this giant feminism movement, but all she wanted to do is to remove this social pressure of “women are supposed to look like women,” starting with the form of shoes.

I have a privilege to work at the company in the U.S. where I can wear anything (almost) I want to.  I only have 2 pairs of high-heel shoes in my wardrobe and I wear sneakers and flats at work everyday , so I hadn’t thought (or forgotten, rather) about the culture of femininity of Japanese society.  Knee-high skirts and high-heels…the most uncomfortable attire to work, especially when you are on foot all day.  And mind you, they also have a long commute on the train and/or the bus, standing.  

I don’t oppose to people, man or women who want to wear high-heel shoes.  I am not stopping them at all, and neither is Yumi.  What I want for all of us, I mean ALL of us, is to have liberty of choice.  What to wear, how to act, what to eat, and how to speak.

I grew up in a household that my father would say something like, “You should act like a woman.”  I always wonder that the fuck that means.

「学校、2週間閉鎖になっちゃった...」

朝晩は冷えるけれど、日が長くなって、暗いうちに仕事へ行って、暗くなってから帰ってくる(これ、結構ディプレッシングです)ということがなくなってきたから、例年の3月なら、「春ぅ!つぼみ!植物!」という明るい雰囲気ですごしますが、さあ、今年は随分違っちゃったなあ。アメリカに越してきてから、ちょうど20年経ちましたが、9.11、2016年の大統領選挙と並んで、新型コロナウイルス感染症は大きな事例になってしまいました。

シアトル周辺のパブリック、プライベートスクールが2週間の閉鎖になりました。わたしのボスのチャンダ(3男児の母)が青い顔で、「これから2週間、どうしよう」とぽつりとつぶやきました。わたし達の会社はすでに1か月のリモートワークなので、ビデオを使って会議やら、チャットやらをしていますが、彼女くらいの役職になると、1日中会議、しかもビデオ会議なので、9時間ほど、コンピューターの前に座っているという状態もあるわけです。しかも、家の中で。プレティーンの3人の男の子達は、これから2週間退屈するだろう、お母さんが家にいればうれしいし(いつもいないんだから、尚更)、おなかもすくし、外に出ないようにするだろうから、家の中でばたばたするだろう、しかも喧嘩とかもありそうだし。。。考えるだけで、会社の上級役員とどうやって会議するんだろうと心配になってしまう。うちの会社は、かなりの理解があるけれど、それでも、やりにくいこと、この上ない。働くお母さんの現実。

パブリックスクールが、閉鎖になると聞いて思ったのは、貧困層の家庭、シングルピアレントの家庭はどうなっちゃうのか、ということ。パブリックのフリーミールプランに頼ってる人達は、たくさんいるだろう。サービス業についているお父さん、お母さんはリモートワークなんてできないんだから、その間、子供達はどうしてるんだろう。シッターさんを頼める余裕がある家庭は少ないんだろう。アメリカでは、一定の年齢に達していない子供は、一人で留守番ができないようになっているから 、そしたらその親御さんたちは、仕事を休むしかなくなって、お給料が入ってこなくなる。そうなったら、ごはんが食べられなくなる。。。そのあたりの保障、ワシントン州は、きちんと考えているんだろうか。どこもそうかもしれないけど、この国は貧困層は、さらに貧困にさらされるシステムになっている。そういうときに「だから、選挙が大事!」とよく聞くけど、選挙で、そういうシステムをひっくり返してくれる人が選ばれて、ちゃんとひっくり返るかどうかなんて、信じてないし、可能だと思えない、もう。遅すぎるよ。

チャンダのつぶやき、重いなあ。

ポートランドで思うこと

時間にしたら、ほんの30秒もかからないくらいの川を越えるだけで、空気が変わるのがよくわかる。コロンビアリバーを超えてワシントン州からオレゴン州へ。2日間のリセット旅の始まり。

ポートランドで思うこと

ここ1ヶ月、頭で考えていることに身体と心がついていかず、増えつづける仕事と大学の課題をこなすだけで、何もできないことに対して自分をせめた。家事も、飼い犬の世話もほとんどを夫任せにしたし、それについて何も(本当に一言も) 文句を言わない彼に対しても、感謝こそするものの、自分が何もしていない罪悪感から、かんしゃくを起こすような始末。膨らみすぎて、これ以上膨らませると、ぱん!と大きな音を立て、弾けてしまいそうなのを察知したのだろう、木曜の夜、寝るまえに言う。「あさってからポートランドね。一泊で。全部仕切りなおしに行こう」

ポートランドはシアトルに比べて、背が高くて(そして、ものすごく醜い)ビルが少ないので、空が広がっていて、雨がふっていても、曇天でも閉じ込められるような気配がない。だから、とても息がしやすい。そのせいか住んでいる人たち、働いている人たちに余裕があって、やさしい。車が左折しようとしていたから、渡らずに待っていたら、運転していた男性が、にこにこっとしてピースサインをくれたし、道を歩いていたら大きな声がしたので、思わずそちらの方を振り向くと、電話で話していたその人が、わざわざ自分の携帯を下げ、私に向かって「ごめんね」と言ってくれる。レコード屋さんのドアの前で入ろうかと逡巡していると、中から出てきた人がドアを押さえてくれ、「ここ、楽しいよ。いいレコードが見つかるといいね」と言ってくれる。シアトルの人たちは、私を含めて一般的に、自分から積極的に他人とかかわろうとしないから、例えば、ドアを押さえてくれる人はいても、一言お互いにかけ合う機会が少ないように思う。昔はシアトルの、その放っておいてくれる距離感がうれしかった。でもポートランドに来るたびに、「みんなが少しずつ、ポートランドの人みたいなれたら、世界はきっと少しづつ、やさしくなるなあ」と思う。しかも今回は心がいつもよりもつかれてたから、いつもよりずっと沁みた。パウエルブックストアを、夜10時までぐるぐる巡りながら、自分からそうしよう、と決めた。

そして、ポートランドのペイストリーとお料理(特にタイ料理、アジア全般)の質の高いこと!おすすめです。

Continue reading “ポートランドで思うこと”

Tender Heart Heals Your Broken Heart

Tender Heart Heals Your Broken Heart

I want that kind of face with a huge smile. I admire her gentle heart. Her smile reminds me of autumn sunset.

Cindy was sitting and waiting for me to meet up for a coffee that morning. She was looking at her phone and reading something. Even from the distance, I could see her kind eyes and lips were forming my favorite shape. Smile. I approached to her and she looked up. Her smile got bigger and that made me choke. My throat got tighten and my eye welled up. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t.

She is a great hugger too. She held me the way I wanted to be held (of course, I didn’t realize that until she did). As soon as I started hearing her soothing voice, my emotion got flooded. I told her my struggles. She showed her empathy, understanding and shared her own struggles. She was there. I mean, she really exited and showed up to heal my broken heart. She did not lose her smile even when we were talking about rough subjects. Then, I lost it and started sobbing.

“You are enough.”

Cindy said that to me twice sincerely when we said good-bye. She went through rough times, challenges and difficulties, but she embraces all of it. That makes her such a strong and resilient human being. Because of that, she possesses the tenderest heart and she is a person who tell others “you are enough.”

Those three words are so powerful and beautiful to me.
I will keep them with me each and every day. Thank you for your gift, Cindy. You are enough also.

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Instant Antidepressant: Baby, it’s cold outside so let’s go out!

Watching the snow falling is one of the beautiful things in the world, but it is not really my favorite thing to do. It makes me feel a bit blue and depressed. I think it’s because I know this peaceful quietness would disappear very soon.

Yesterday, Sunday November 5th 2017, it was a bit snowing and intensely cold for November in Seattle. I love Seattle autumn, but I guess I was not ready for this weather. However it turned into one of the most delightful days.

Here is list of how I make those cold and blues go away.

OXTAIL PHO at BA BAR (http://babarseattle.com)

Classic Vietnamese repertoire, beef noodle soup. Noodle have gotten better now at Ba Bar. It won’t get bundle up and like a giant mochi any more. Broth tastes exactly how I wanted it to taste like. Combination of savoriness, tons of umami, a tat sourness and slight sweetness. Make sure to breathe in the complexity of this noodle soup before digging in. Then, you taste the meat falling off from the bones and noodle at the same time. It warms your belly and heart at the same time.

PIPE & ROW (https://pipeandrow.com) and BURNT SUGAR (https://burntsugar.us)

Strolling stores in cute neighborhood like Fremont is essential especially on a chilly day like this. Looking at those pairs of shoes that cost way more than you can afford but it’s so nice to dream. Someday in Paris 🙂 You can do it yourself but it would be much more fun with your trusted and honest friends who are not afraid of saying, “No, you look ridiculous in that dress” or “You look amazing. You must get that sweater.”

YOUR BESTIES
I don’t call people “friends” very easily. Honestly, I only have several friends whom I gave my respect and the highest regards to. I got to go out and eat pho, drink coffee, shop, talk, make fun of each other and laugh. Most importantly, love. Since I have a few friends, I can easily open up my heart and show who I am when being with them. I show how important and precious they are to me. I share my life, small and big with them. They give me so much hope and strength to keep going. It’s pure happiness. There is no better way to fill your soul.

Dark, rainy and cold days are coming in Seattle soon. However, as long as I have these things, I don’t need to go seek for antidepressants. When your heart is open, depressing days can easily turn into happy days just like I experienced yesterday. That’s instant and long-lasting at the same time.

Kyoto Day 3: April 12th, 2015 Mon

Kyoto Day 3: April 12th, 2015 Mon

it has been a bit cold and raining. Very wet. Of course I decided to travel to north from central Kyoto. There is a small zen temple called “Shisendo” and this place is famous for its garden. There are 2 rooms you can sit or meditate facing well-maintained and cared garden. I sat there for about 30 minutes just to enjoy the garden, hear birds, feel the breeze. Just to be. 

    

I am just proud to be Japanese especially today.  

 

Kyoto Day 1: April 11th, 2015

Kyoto Day 1: April 11th, 2015

13.5miles. I walked 13.5 miles today. My feet and legs are a bit sore but I’m planning to walk around the city today again.  This is my friends’ first time to visit Kyoto and they wanted to visit Rokuonji (Kinkakji). Not my favorite but yet still impressive. My highlight of my the day was to visit Ryoanji zen Templar for the 4th time. This is my another chapter of my life started. I’m forever grateful for that. This is cherry blossom at Ryoanji.

   

 

It’s just before 7 in the morning. Let’s see what’s waiting for me to explore in this amazing city. 

Today’s HONY (Humans of New York): Jackson’s Father

Today’s HONY (Humans  of New York): Jackson’s Father

“My wife and I are divided about whether it was inevitable, or if something caused it, but we do have video of Jackson at 18 months, coming up to the camera and talking. But soon afterward his language stopped developing, and eventually he lost the language skills he already had. He stopped responding to his name. You could even bang pots and pans behind him, and he wouldn’t respond. But when we tested his hearing, it was fine. People would say: ‘Boys develop later.’ Or ‘Don’t worry, my daughter didn’t begin talking until she was three.” But we knew it was something more. This was twenty years ago, so the doctors didn’t even know what to tell us. The head of pediatrics at Columbia met with us, and said: ‘Let me do some research on autism and I’ll get back to you.’ We started to worry that Jackson might never progress. Around this time, I overheard some acquaintances worrying that their four-year-old son might be gay. It made me so mad. I thought: ‘Give me a fucking break. You know that your child can grow to be happy, independent, and fall in love. I’d trade anything for that knowledge, and you’re freaking out that your son might be gay.’”

Today’s Happy Thoughts: My Favorite Things

Today’s Happy Thoughts:  My Favorite Things

I saw someone was writing what 5 thing that make her happy on her blog.  I was inspired by her and here are 5 things make me happy at this moment, 10:56am on April 7th Tue (it changes slightly & often J)

The fact that my longtime friend Rika will be joining me in Kyoto this next week for 1.5 days.  I haven’t seen her since December 2008.  She is such a caring, kind, classy and beautiful (inside and out) person.  When I was younger, I always wonder why I didn’t grow up like her.  She has my highest regards.

Going to visit Kyoto in 1.5 days.  I am not completely excited yet but it makes me happy when I think about all these food I can eat (I will pig out when I am there!) and temples I visit just spend some time with myself.

Oh my god, I can’t believe I am writing about this.  This Japanese TV show called “Dr. Koto Shinryojo” is actually making me happy?  Yes it is.  Don’t judge.  It is a great human drama.  This one young genius surgeon arrived this small little farthest West island of Japan where takes 6-hour ferry ride just to get to the main land from the huge and prestigious hospital in Tokyo.  The island has a population of only 1,500 people and they have never had an established clinic with quality medical staff and services.  He struggles hard at first because people living on that island don’t trust him.  They are very resistant and not welcoming.  Because of his never-give-up personality, chill-ness and his talent, gradually he starts to earn everyone’s trust.  I did a Dr. Koto marathon this past weekend and watched 13 episodes in 2 days.  I feel like such a loser but what can I say?  Season 2 is waiting for me when I go home tonight (crap, I will have to pack for the trip!).  Again, please do not judge.

My Ginger.  Especially when she leans over in my bed and starts to snore.  She is almost 10 years old, stubborn and independent.  She loves corn kernels and white rice.  She also farts a lot.

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Archie.  My best friend, my person and partner in crime.

I lead a very happy life.