I want that kind of face with a huge smile. I admire her gentle heart. Her smile reminds me of autumn sunset.
Cindy was sitting and waiting for me to meet up for a coffee that morning. She was looking at her phone and reading something. Even from the distance, I could see her kind eyes and lips were forming my favorite shape. Smile. I approached to her and she looked up. Her smile got bigger and that made me choke. My throat got tighten and my eye welled up. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t.
She is a great hugger too. She held me the way I wanted to be held (of course, I didn’t realize that until she did). As soon as I started hearing her soothing voice, my emotion got flooded. I told her my struggles. She showed her empathy, understanding and shared her own struggles. She was there. I mean, she really exited and showed up to heal my broken heart. She did not lose her smile even when we were talking about rough subjects. Then, I lost it and started sobbing.
“You are enough.”
Cindy said that to me twice sincerely when we said good-bye. She went through rough times, challenges and difficulties, but she embraces all of it. That makes her such a strong and resilient human being. Because of that, she possesses the tenderest heart and she is a person who tell others “you are enough.”
Those three words are so powerful and beautiful to me.
I will keep them with me each and every day. Thank you for your gift, Cindy. You are enough also.
“My wife and I are divided about whether it was inevitable, or if something caused it, but we do have video of Jackson at 18 months, coming up to the camera and talking. But soon afterward his language stopped developing, and eventually he lost the language skills he already had. He stopped responding to his name. You could even bang pots and pans behind him, and he wouldn’t respond. But when we tested his hearing, it was fine. People would say: ‘Boys develop later.’ Or ‘Don’t worry, my daughter didn’t begin talking until she was three.” But we knew it was something more. This was twenty years ago, so the doctors didn’t even know what to tell us. The head of pediatrics at Columbia met with us, and said: ‘Let me do some research on autism and I’ll get back to you.’ We started to worry that Jackson might never progress. Around this time, I overheard some acquaintances worrying that their four-year-old son might be gay. It made me so mad. I thought: ‘Give me a fucking break. You know that your child can grow to be happy, independent, and fall in love. I’d trade anything for that knowledge, and you’re freaking out that your son might be gay.’”
That morning started off so dramatically with Hitomi’s homemade miso, all the food we ordered at Terra Plata ended up being a blur and not that impressive. We ordered Steak and Salad with Chimichurri sauce and Tuna Nicoise Salad. To be completely frank, I do not remember details of it. If it was really bad, I would totally remember and write about that. It must have been OK. It seems like it is a very popular spot so there must be something special to attract clients. I will give it another try and come back with my real thoughts as what I think of the food at Terra Plata.
Weekends are great. I usually have insane weekdays so I love to have little moments make me realize I have such a fruitful and joyous life. Food, coffee, books, travel, dogs, and music make me happy and I realize that I have it all. I do.
Seattle offers such wonderful coffee joints like Stumptown Coffee Roaster which is from Portland, OR
My stubborn, overweight Chihuahua waiting for Archie to return to his car. We were waiting outside of Stumptown while he was getting coffee for us.
I am reading this book to prepare for my trip to Kyoto in April. The title of this book is “Alleys of Kyoto”
While I am writing this, I am listening to Damien Rice (one of living geniuses)’s raw and heart wrenching voice.
I cannot be happier. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
I admit that I can be an ass sometimes. I just can’t pretend to be happy for him or her when I don’t mean it (except, at business occasions, I can pretend no problem. I am getting paid for that after all).
“Oh, you look fabulous!”
“I am happy for you!”
“It’s wonderful to see you!”
“Your baby is so cute! (babies scare the crap out of me. And they look like monkeys most of the time except for Mira) Too many exclamation points, really. When I have to say these things that I don’t mean, I get tense and have to think really carefully before saying it. Most of the time, those words come out fake-ish. However, when I genuinely mean it, my words do not come out right away. My body starts doing some weird moves and I start stomping around with my ear-to-ear smile. Or when situations don’t allow for me to do this weird stuff, I usually do that in my head.
I don’t react too well when I sense that people are trying to fish for compliments. I do the opposite, I just don’t react as those people want me to. I could look quite cold. So, I got curious as to how many people I am doing my weird happy dance for gladly this morning. Except for my family, I have 10. I am happy to know that I can do my dance for these 10 people.
I can be an ass sometimes, but at least I am a happy-ass when doing my dance for them.