Every time I hear this song, my throat tightens up as if I’m starting to cry but I always managed to stop right before that. This is a song I want to listen to inside of my car when it is raining outside, while hearing raindrops continuously hit the roof of the car. I sometimes actually stop my car to listen to the entire song then wait to see if my sorrow drips into my heart through a pinhole.
I have countless number of songs that are dear to my heart, but this is a special song and a favorite for the last 10 years. It is bitter sweet. This is a song that you want to listen to when you are remembering someone who is out of your life but you still wish that person, whether your grandma, your long lost friend, your English literature professor, a crush, whoever that may be, is still part of your life. And you day-dream about the time when you and that person happen to see each other at your favorite coffee shop, but it feels really strange so you guys only exchange an awkward smile. Then, you know that person is no longer a part of your life and you know that he/she knows that too.
You carry on your life but for one small moment, you think about that person. Maybe while selecting an Etta James vinyl record at this vintage record shop. Maybe when you are looking at this huge painting that you have no idea what this is all about. Or maybe at red light. Maybe when you are spreading almost expired cream cheese on a bagel. Maybe when you are at the zoo with your 5-year old niece looking at penguins on one Sunday during winter. Maybe when you can’t sleep and it is 2am and you are watching “Roman Holiday” by yourself but not hating the fact that you are alone. Or during the time you found comfort in the sound of a faucet leaking slowly, and finally you can let your tears run down your face.
Mine is “Marching band in Manhattan” by Death Cab for Cutie. How about yours?
“That sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt. That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness. That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack. That concentrating on anything is very hard work.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
From age 7 to 17, School and home were not safe place to be. Library was my only safe haven and place to, like, hurt. This quote from Infinite Jest is totally needed for my soul today. Digging deep.
How does this look like to you? Gross? Weird? To me, this looks just gorgeous.
If you let Japanese mom or grandma cook, you’d be surprised how much they do NOT waste ingredients. For example, let’s talk about chicken. They cook thigh, breast, wings, inner-fillet, liver, heart, tale, gizzard, feet, (we eat some parts raw…I know. But they are delicious!), and bones and neck for soup stock. Fish, same thing. They will use everything even fish roes.
So, in this photo, red pearl-ish looking thing is Ikura, salmon roes. Yellow slimy looking thing is Uni, sea urchin. You put these 2 things on a bed of rice, Donburi, then add little amount of Shoyu (good quality soy sauce, I recommend Ohsawa Brand. You can buy it natural food stores or online http://shop.goldminenaturalfoods.com/Nama-Shoyu/products/58/), you would feel like you are in heaven.
I don’t believe many sushi restaurants have this dish on the menu in the U.S. but if you order by saying “hey, I’d like to order Uni Ikura Donburi” in Japanese, you would impress the hell out of sushi chef. I guarantee it.
I am hungry. Actually I am starving. After spending 10 hours or so at work, I want to eat fast. My choices are 1) to suck it up and cook 2) to go straight to the couch. OK, I choose 1) tonight but it needs to quick and delicious. It cannot be one those ready-made crap. No. It MUST have my love in it and be yummy in my tummy. On cold and gloomy night in Seattle, I thought tomato red would cheer my heart up and my stomach up. One big can of San Marzano and dried spaghetti box in my pantry. Ok. One Walla Walla sweet onion and brown mushroom in my veggie bin. Cool, I don’t have to go to store. In my Staub, I start cooking chopped onion with Lorenzo No.1 olive oil then add some mushroom, then whole can of tomato and Eden sea Salt. Shimmer while I take shower.
Then above becomes this with accompaniment.
Baby, it’s cold outside. Let’s eat spaghetti with simple tomato sauce so this will take us to under Italian sun and cold night blues are done immediately.
First dinner of 2015 is risotto using Pacific Northwest wild mushroom that I bought at University district farmers market vendor called Foraged & Found Edibles.
Various kinds of dried mushroom in 2oz bag so I soaked a whole bag in water for a couple hours, then used the water as risotto stock.
Then handsome risotto (a bit salt, Parmesan cheese)
My first pie this year is Almond Cherry Pie from High 5 Pie with hot chocolate using Theo’s 85% dark chocolate with almond milk.
風邪を引いて寝込んだ私に、ジェフがHigh5 Pieで買ってきてくれたのは、アーモンドチェリーパイ。今年初パイです。お供はTheoのチョコレートで作った、チョコラショー。甘 x 甘 かと思ったけれど、85%のダークを使ったので、以外と美味しかったです。