Do You Have Your Marching Band in Manhattan?

Every time I hear this song, my throat tightens up as if I’m starting to cry but I always managed to stop right before that.  This is a song I want to listen to inside of my car when it is raining outside, while hearing raindrops continuously hit the roof of the car.  I sometimes actually stop my car to listen to the entire song then wait to see if my sorrow drips into my heart through a pinhole.

I have countless number of songs that are dear to my heart, but this is a special song and a favorite for the last 10 years.  It is bitter sweet.  This is a song that you want to listen to when you are remembering someone who is out of your life but you still wish that person, whether  your grandma, your long lost friend, your English literature professor, a crush, whoever that may be, is still part of your life.  And you day-dream about the time when you and that person happen to see each other at your favorite coffee shop, but it feels really strange so you guys only exchange an awkward smile.  Then, you know that person is no longer a part of your life and you know that he/she knows that too.

You carry on your life but for one small moment, you think about that person.  Maybe while selecting an Etta James vinyl record at this vintage record shop.  Maybe when you are looking at this huge painting that you have no idea what this is all about.  Or maybe at red light.  Maybe when you are spreading almost expired cream cheese on a bagel.  Maybe when you are at the zoo with your 5-year old niece looking at penguins on one Sunday during winter.  Maybe when you can’t sleep and it is 2am and you are watching “Roman Holiday” by yourself but not hating the fact that you are alone.  Or during the time you found comfort in the sound of a faucet leaking slowly, and finally you can let your tears run down your face.

Mine is “Marching band in Manhattan” by Death Cab for Cutie.  How about yours?